1. January 2015 – I resigned my position as the Early Childhood Director at our church.
2. February 2015 – I started compiling a list of all the projects (house and garage), and personal development goals I wanted to start working towards.
3. April 2015 – SURPRISE! Early spring we found ourselves expecting another Slater, due in December.
4. April-December 2015 – Morning sickness. Morning sickness.  More morning sickness (add in some heartburn and edema, and VOILA…nine very pregnant months go by).
5. Dreams placed on the back burner for a while.
6. July 2015 – Joel started graduate school.
7. July 2015 – We took our annual trip to North Carolina where I passed out on the beach (oh the drama!), and an OBGYN just happened to be walking by…it’s a whole story…but not for now.
8. September 2015 – Kids started school – 7th, 5th and 3rd grades.
9. September 2015 – Joel turned 40
10. Jasper Sifa Slater was born on December 19, 2015

That about covers it.  There could be much more, but my brain is so foggy.  I can barely remember what we did last week.

The first six months…post-partum…

I thought about blogging something after Jasper was born, but let’s be honest here…for the first two months I sat in the same spot, every. single. day.  And nursed that baby because that was the only thing he wanted to do.  That, and be carried, facing outward, all over the house. He hated the swing.  He hated his car seat.  He hated the swaddle.  He loved to nurse and walk.  Period.

By the time Jasper was three months old we were in full swing with school, sports, and church activities.  And Jasper’s new favorite thing was not sleeping.  Ever.  Naps?  No.  Nighttime?  No.  Thirty minutes here and there?  Yes.  Because that is all a three month old needs, right?  A good thirty minutes of shut-eye and BAM, we’re back in business.  I was a walking zombie by that point, but I wore make-up and did my hair, so I’m pretty sure I hid it well.

I don’t even remember April and May.  I think we were busy.  Sydney turned 13, and I came up with the brilliant idea of throwing her two parties (one for her school friends and one for her church friends) because THIRTEEN.  That’s kind of a big deal.  So I went without sleep (what’s new, right?), baked and cleaned and planned and shopped for the love of my eldest daughter.  And if you are looking for a good definition of insane, I have one for you.  Remember #6 on my list of top ten highlights?  In May Joel graduated with his master’s degree.  Yes.  We are out of our minds.  All the while, Jasper kept nursing (still his favorite) and weighed 19 pounds at his four month check up.  My milk could end world hunger.  I am not kidding.

Here it is, June.  I can’t even.  Where did the past six months go?  I know.  They went with the basketball practices and games, the loading and unloading of a car seat for the daily round trips to and from school, the chorale rehearsals, the weekly ballet practices, the Sunday church services and Wednesday night clubs, a million diaper changes, bath times and family dinners.  The past six months went by with all of the memories and crazy and this-is-our-life-and-it’s-good-so-try-to-enjoy-it-because-time-is-precious-and-fleeting-and-it-never-slows-down.  Whew.

If you were to ask me what I have gained over the first six months of Jasper’s sweet life I would say this:

1. I have gained an incredible appreciation for this season of my life.  When they say time goes by fast, they aren’t kidding.  It was only yesterday that Sydney was born, and now she’s thirteen.  How in the world?  Time.  That I get to experience the baby kisses and cuddles, soft skin and milky baby breath, and all the firsts one more time is a gift that I do not take for granted.  I am grateful.  I can honestly say that I appreciate all of this so much more this time around.
2. And the other thing I have gained?  Sleep deprivation.

And that is all I’m going to say about that.

How am I, are we, doing after the first sixth months?

We are doing grateful.

The thing about accumulating junk in a small house is that you notice it a lot more quickly because, well, space is limited.  And before you know it, that little pile of junk has become a mountain of junk.  It’s scary.  The temptation that I struggle with in moments like these is to start entertaining thoughts like, “This house just isn’t big enough anymore,” or “I can’t handle this cramped space.  We need a bigger place.”  Thoughts like this happen when you live in a small house.  It’s inevitable.  However, thinking like this can be a distraction from the bigger issue- the hoarding of useless junk.

After I’ve put the “I-need-a-bigger-house” thoughts out of my mind, I can start tackling the mountain before me.

As a rule of thumb I go through my house 2-3 times a year and do a massive purge: clothes, old toys, papers, magazines, and miscellaneous things that find their way into my home.  Now that my kids are getting older, and we seem to be bringing unbelievable quantities of papers and binders home throughout the year, I find that a good paper purge is in order on a daily – yes, I said daily – basis.  The paper alone will eat up your house and spit you out if you don’t keep it under control.  This I promise you.

Small-space living calls for some serious de-junking of your life.  It’s the only way to survive.  And I might add, the more you get rid of the more free you will feel.  Simplifying is rewarding in more ways than one.

De-Junking the House 101:

• EXPOSE your junk!  Go through your house and open up closets, cabinets, drawers. and kitchen pantry.  Pull things out from under the bed.

• ASSESS what you have and start making piles.

• KEEP anything that you use regularly or absolutely love.

• DONATE anything that is in good condition that you no longer need/use.  Bag items up and haul to Goodwill/Salvation Army or any other non-profit organization that will receive donations.

• SELL any items that could possibly put a little extra $$ in your pocket.

• THROW AWAY anything that is broken, torn, over-used, or stained.

It’s a simple practice – EXPOSE, ASSESS, KEEP, DONATE, SELL, THROW AWAY.  Next week we’ll take a more focussed look at closet purging and how to bring your kiddos along for the ride, turning the process into teachable moments.  Join me for Part 2 of getting rid of that junk!

As we are working on getting into a nice groove with our new schedule, I’m afraid my poor blog has received the short end of the stick.  It pains me.  Truly, it does.  As I lay my head on my pillow each night recounting all the activities of the day, the one thing that looms overhead is how negligent I’ve been with this blog.  I’m still working on finding balance.

While I don’t have the brain cells to articulate what God’s been doing in my heart and mind over the past week, I thought I’d jot down a few of the highlights:

• Allergies to cockroaches are nothing to laugh about.
• Sometimes empathy is all you can give.
• There is no sitting down on the job when you work at a preschool – there is no time to sit down.
• My son calls me “Teacher Mommy”.
• I have surprised myself at how much I can actually do in a 24 hour period.
• God’s grace truly is sufficient, and his power is made perfect in my weakness.
• Waking up before the rest of the world to be in the Word and pray, as difficult as it is some days, pays off when someone asks for prayer, and there is a pool of spiritual strength to draw from.
• God isn’t expecting perfection, just willingness to try.
• I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
• And finally, I have grown quite fond of being called “Mr. Amy” by the little three-year-old boy in my Friday class.  It comes out more as a “Mith-ter Amy”, and my heart melts.

The lunches have been packed and prepared for the rest of the week, book bags are sitting by the door, clothes set out, and the coffee pot ready to brew at 5:15 am.  Mr. Amy will be getting back to work in the morning, ready to take on a new week.

We are a close family, but…well…not that close.

All silliness aside, it was truly amazing to me how quickly my children bonded with my cousins’ children.  James and Sydney were babies the last time we were together, and since that time, we’ve added a few family members.  Without skipping a beat, our children fell in love (not the romantic kind of love) instantaneously.  They played their hearts out every day in the ocean’s waves and couldn’t wait to see each other the next day.  For almost two weeks, they were inseperable.

Saying goodbye was emotional and bittersweet.  Buckets of tears were shed by all the little ones (and the big ones too…saying goodbye is hard no matter how old you are).  I hate parting ways with those I dearly love, but I am grateful that when we go our separate ways, there is a deep longing in all of us for the next time we will see each other again.  And I am grateful that we have inadvertantly passed that down to our children.

James was Sydney’s first real crush.  They bonded – on their boogie boards, riding waves, and sharing his goggles – the stuff that real romance is made of.  This summer will hold a fond memory for both of them, and as they grow older, they will realize how blessed they are to be family.

When I start to feel the twinge of sadness that missing my family brings, I only have to remember, “On the lips!  On the lips!” and a smile is quick to cross my face.  As my cousin’s wife remarked, “There are places in the south where marrying a second cousin is perfectly normal…but we are not from those parts.”

Amen to that.

I’m in a skipping, jumping, life-is-wonderful kind of mood too!  Sunshine is good for the soul.  It burns off the dark, cloudy days and turns the doldrums into a far, distant memory.  Yes.  I’m high on vitamin D this morning.  Can’t you tell?

In honor of our four days in a row of beautiful, sunny, summertime kind of weather, I quickly jotted down a few of my favorite summertime must-haves.  Feel free to add any of your own summer favorites to my list too.

Summer is…

• Sunshine
• Swimming
• Sunscreen SPF 50 (or more appropriately, Sun-paste – that stuff really works!)
• Strawberry Shortcake
• Sleeping in
• Starbucks Frappuccinos
• Sundresses and flip flops
• Sitting outside under the shade of a tree
• Summer reads
• Salads with fresh fruits and veggies

Have I forgotten anything?

Because I don’t want to miss out on any bit of this very beautiful day, I’m going to wrap this up and get off of my computer.  The tree outside my window, reflecting gold and yellow beams of sunlight from its leaves, keeps beckoning me to come outside and play.

And so…I’m off to soak in another beautiful summer day!

Psalm 118:24

This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Friday’s Free Advice: “The Best Summer Ever” Challenge.

Last month, on Mother’s Day, our church was invited to participate in a “Random Acts of Kindness” challenge.  Square, orange touch cards with “Smile!  You’ve Just Been Tagged! – Do something nice for someone.  Leave this card behind and extend God’s love again!” were handed out, and left in strategic areas of the church for attendees to pick up and take home.  We were encouraged to find subtle ways to reach out to our community by doing random acts of kindness for strangers, and leaving the card behind.

I love this for so many reasons, the first being that the color of the card is ORANGE!  I do love me some orange…bright, summery, happy and fun.  How can you resist?

I am also a big fan of random acts of kindness.  Not too long ago I posted a challenge of my own.  Doing something for someone just for the sake of doing it, to me, is one of the most powerful statements of unconditional love. 

Last night we had a family meeting around the dinner table.  At the top of the agenda (the only thing on the agenda) was brainstorming ways to make this the “best summer ever”.  We’re calling it “The Best Summer Ever” challenge.  The kids threw out all kinds of ideas of what they thought would make their summer super awesome and fun.  The wild and enthusiastic stream of creativity that flowed from three little minds was impressive and enlightening.  Everything from swimming, to beach days, to trips to the zoo, to playing and reading – they were on a roll. 

After the brainstorm dust settled, I affirmed their ideas.  I acknowledged that those things would most certainly make this the “best summer ever”.  I went on to pose a question: if Mommy and Daddy are taking them to the pool, to the zoo, to the beach…etc., how are they, then, going to make this the best summer ever for us?

The first word out of, none other than, my three-year-old wild man’s mouth was, “Kindness!”  Oh…I have taught them well!  My heart flipped!  The girls chimed in, “Be kind!  Be kind!” 

We chatted about what it means to be kind.  Kindness is: showing love, sharing toys, smiling, playing sweetly, listening to Mommy and Daddy.  Good answers.  We also had to cover what kindness is not:  screaming, scratching, pushing, whining, and leaving a mess on the floor when they are done playing with their toys. 

We talked about the fruit of the Spirit (and to be completely honest, by this point in the family meeting Sydney was about the only attentive mind at the table.  Jackson and Brooklyn had checked out somewhere around, “picking up your toys…”  We’re working on it.)

Kindness is a big deal in our home, and I think I walked away from our meeting with a sense of accomplishment in one way: my kids know the value of kindness.  Jackson and Brooklyn have witnessed mommy buying coffee anonymously for another person and leaving the bright, happy, orange card behind.  They think it’s awesome.  While I can’t guarantee that we’ll sail smoothly through our summer on the kindness wave, at least I know they are aware of the power of kindness.

So, as Joel and I are challenging our kids, and ourselves, to make this the best summer ever by being kind, I am going to do the same for you!   Be random!  Be kind!  Step out, reach out and be sunlight to your world!  Make this ” The Best Summer Ever”!

This little factoid just reminded me of a load of towels I washed yesterday.  They are still in the machine.  I will have to run them again, and hopefully, remember to transfer them to the dryer this time.  From start to finish, this could take an hour-and-a-half.  And I want to whine about it.  I want to pout and throw up my hands in surrender because there is so much laundry to do.  All of the time.  Piles and piles of it.

When I was younger, I was certain that I had been born in the wrong era.  I should have been a prairie girl, or a 1920’s flapper, right out of an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel, or part of the Greatest Generation (for sure).  Now that I am older and maybe just a teeny bit wiser, I am convinced that “Laura Ingles Wilder” I am not.  I love my electric washing machine (I love electricity in general).  I love my cell phone and high-speed internet.  I love going to movies, online banking, blue jeans, and my grind & brew coffee maker (hallelujah for my coffee maker!).  I am so appreciative of the modern conveniences I get to enjoy (and fully embrace) on a daily basis.  God made no mistake when he brought this life into the world in 1973.

Sometimes I get restless and critical, worried and depressed when I look at the world I live in.  I can easily get caught up in all the “bad” out there.  Yet, I kind of get the impression that God is still present in all this chaos.  He’s still moving, working, blessing, and redeeming.  He even had the forethought and grace to make sure that the electric washing machine was a standard home appliance for a gal like me.

That the sun so graciously decided to poke its head out of the clouds for a brief moment this morning could quite possibly be the inspiration for this random stream of thought.  Or maybe I just needed to pull myself up out of negativity and remind myself that it could always be worse.  I could have been born in a time when bathrooms were outhouses and mornings were spent milking cows, baking bread, and feeding the chickens. 

Wherever the inspiration came from…I’m just plain thankful today.  And that’s all I’ve got to say.

The Losties (as we have come to know them) were a group of lost souls.  Flying together on Oceanic 815, there was not a free soul among them.  Each led a broken life…inhabiting a body of flesh and bones, but lost deep inside.  The one thing they sought out from this life was the one thing that seemed to elude them: redemption.

And then the crash.

What seemed to be the worst thing in the world that could have happened to them was the one thing that brought healing to their lives.  An answer to their unspoken prayers.  Alone in the real world, drawn together, bound together, strong together in the Lost world.  As the island spoke to each one individually, and specifically, we observed inner transformation.  Slow, painful, and sometimes deadly, the work of the island was not so much to discover what it was, but to discover who they were.

In the end, throughout their alternate lives, as they reawakened so to speak, we saw freedom and joy, not terror and fear.  On the island, there was a great deal of horror, yet the memories they reflect upon are the joys of what they island gave to them.

Sun and Jin – redemption in their relationship…and a baby.

Sawyer – freedom from the past and freedom to love.

Hurley – anointed to lead.

Sayid – atonement for his past, a chance to start anew.

Charlie and Claire – souls destined to be together.

Desmond – the constant that drew them all together both on the island and off the island.

Ben – forgiveness…but still incomplete (he has so much to reckon with).

Locke – freedom from the constraints that bound him.  I love what he said to Jack post-surgery and after his reawakening: “I hope someone does for you what you have done for me.”  Redemption.

Kate – the burden of a life set against her, lifted as she learned to love sacrificially and selflessly.

Jack – redemption.  His entire life was spent saving everyone around him, longing to be set free from himself.  And so it was, in the very last scene, that he could let go.  He found what he spent his whole life looking for…freedom and redemption.

A part of me wishes that more of my questions could be answered.  What happened to Richard Alpert?  What was the Dharma Initiative all about?  What about Ellie and Miles and Daniel and Charlotte and Walt and the polar bears and Room 23???  Perhaps these issues were not addressed because they were only peripheral characters and symbols set around the more significant part of the story-  that being the characters themselves.  Their hope for freedom from the distorted lives they were living, and their search for redemption.

They were lost before they crashed on the island.  The island found them…and they finally found themselves.

Not to over-spiritualize LOST, but isn’t it the hard, painful, and almost deadly seasons of our lives that bring us full circle into the grace and redemption of God?  The Losties had to strive for over half the duration of the series to get off the island, but it was the island that actually healed them.  We fight our island circumstances because they are painful, dark, and overwhelming.  But it is through them that God sets us free, redeems us, and allows us to let go.

Hmmm…just a few thoughts.  What do you think?

Yesterday afternoon I got a jump-start on my summer reading.  A few weeks ago a friend of mine gave me the book, “You Can Still Wear Cute Shoes”, written by Lisa McKay.  I added it to my pile of summer “must-reads”, and turned my focus back to this crazy life I’ve been living.   I have to confess, seeing the book leaning against another lonely book on my shelf, curiosity got the best of me.  I took it down, opened it up and couldn’t pull my eyes away until I heard Joel walk in the door at 6pm.  (Jackson and Brooklyn played quietly and peacefully the entire afternoon…I know…it was nothing short of a miracle, and, what I can only believe to be confirmation that I was supposed to read this book.)

In any case, with only a few chapters left, I have successfully knocked out one book on my summer reading list.  At this pace, I fear I may have nothing left to read by the time June 18th rolls around! 

With summer reading on my mind, I thought I would share with you my list (you may find some inspiration and add a few to your own).  Here we go…starting summer off with a splash… 

Amy’s Summer Reads (thus far…)

• You Can Still Wear Cute Shoes, by Lisa McKay
• How People Grow, by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
• Anonymous, by Alicia Britt Chole
• Becoming A True Spiritual Community, by Lawrence J. Crabb
• Love and Logic Magic: When Kids Leave You Speechless, by Jim Fay & Charles Fay

As you can see…it’s a little weak.  That’s where you come in!  Instead of me dishing out free advice today, it is your turn to advise me!  Send me your book recommendations (fiction and non-fiction alike).  I could really use some inspiration.  And since we’re on the subject of good reads, I thought, in turn, I would help jump start one of your own reading lists.  By leaving a comment, you will enter yourself in the “All I Need Is Jesus, And A Good Pair of Jeans“, by Susanna Foth Aughtmon, give-away.  This was on my summer reading list last year, and I polished it off in one day.  (You may recall a recent review I wrote  on her second book, “My Bangs Look Good And Other Lies I Tell Myself”.)   Instructions for this give-away are as follows:

• Leave a comment with a good book recommendation.
• Winner will be randomly chosen and announced in next week’s Friday’s Free Advice (only those living in the continental U.S. eligible to win).

It’s as simple as that, my friends!   Let’s go summer!

And that’s not all. 

I worry. 

I worry a lot.  

Fear is a battle for me.  

When I am in a “good” place emotionally, spiritually and physically I can quickly recognize my fear triggers, and rise above them.  However, when I am tired, stressed, dealing with a difficult child, at odds with Joel, and doggy paddling my way through the waves of unpredictability, I am not so quick to resist worry.  My mind blows things out of proportion.  

And I end up exhausted.

Realizing this about myself, I have learned a few things about how to regain control of my emotions, and pull myself up out of this pit.  There are four little steps I take to move from living overwhelmed to overcoming living.  This is today’s Friday’s Free Advice:

• Spiritual dimension:  Read the Word of God!

Matthew 6:25-27, 33-34“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (NIV)

God’s word takes away the confusion and distorted messages my mind conjures up.  It brings me back to the truth, and truth trumps fear every. single. time.

• Physical dimension: Get some rest! 

Go to bed early.  Take a day, or morning, to flop around the house.  Schedule it into your week, if need be.  I know life gets really busy (I know this because we are busy quite frequently).  I also know that when I have gone too long without rest I burn out.  In fact, this morning as I write this, I am sitting here in my jammies with a cup of coffee on my desk.  I am resting.

• Relational dimension:  Deal with it!

This is probably the most difficult step for me, and I can’t say that I do well in this dimension consistently.  However, I am learning and growing (remember…I am clinging to grace on a daily basis!). 

Just last night Joel and I had a long heart-to-heart.  It was a much needed talk, and as I anticipated bringing things up to him I was a wreck internally.  Yet, it proved to be a powerful moment in our relationship.  Instead of avoiding and pushing issues aside, we confronted, listened to each other, talked them out (until 12am), and drew closer as husband and wife. 

• Soul dimension:  Pray!

 The famous philosopher of the 90’s, M.C. Hammer, once rapped, “You’ve got to pray just to make it today…Come on, let’s pray.”  Okay…a little cheesy, but he was totally right.  I really do need to pray just to make it today!   

When I’ve saturated my mind in the truth of God’s word, addressed any physical or relational issues, I then wrap them up in prayer.  By this time, fear has vanished and my heart, mind and soul are back on track.  Life will constantly try to throw curve balls, but keeping the focus the One who will carry us through them all is the greatest comfort of all.

As we drifted off to sleep last night, Joel prayed over us.  It was the sweetest night’s rest I’ve had in a long time. 

Isaiah 26:3  “Thou will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” (KJV)