A week ago I was flying across the country to meet up with three of my high school BFF’s. We had been planning this reunion for months, and the excitement of seeing these sweet friends had me up all through the night. I knew it was going to be a wonderful weekend, but I had no idea just how wonderful it would turn out to be.
There was laughter. So much so that we discovered new muscles in our cheeks that we never knew existed. There were, of course, tears, stories and endless conversation. It never stopped. For 48 hours straight. As I have been reflecting upon our time together there are some things that I will be processing for days and weeks to come. However, I have come up with four simple take-aways that I learned from spending time with some of the most amazing women on the planet. Here they are:
- I’m not crazy. Life as a third culture kid can sometimes leave one to feel like a lunatic. Even at 37 years of age. Being with my girlfriends this weekend, who have shared similar experiences and challenges, reminded me that I am not a lunatic. What a relief!
- “Double Switch” is still the best made-for-t.v. movie ever to hit the small screen. Just sayin’.
- I’m a great mom. Yes. That’s right. Can you believe I would have the audacity to proclaim my unparalleled mothering skills? We talked a lot about “mom guilt”. If you have never felt the searing pain of “mom guilt” then I want to know who you are and I want to shake your hand, or give you a hug. I try so hard at motherhood, and oftentimes feel like a failure. Balancing discipline, love, spiritual growth, and relationship building is a full-time job, and then some. I don’t want to be a good mom, I want to be a great one. And what perpetuates the guilt and feelings of failure is every time I look around and compare myself with other moms. We talked about this stuff – our stuff. Finally, we realized that no matter how hard we try to make sure we don’t fail at this thing called motherhood, our kids will still have issues. They may not be our issues, but they will have issues just the same. But they will also turn out okay. Ultimately, they rest in God’s hands. We simply do the best we can. I concluded that I am a great mom. A super, fabulous, top-notch, creative, compassionate, super-woman mom. If you can relate, then go ahead and give yourself a little pat on the back. Believe me, I have.
- Spiritual growth is a slow process, sometimes unrecognizable from the outside. I don’t know about you, but there are many times I feel like I’m running a winless race. In fact, I feel like I’m running myself into the ground trying to prove to myself and others that I am a spiritually mature Christian. Somehow it has become more about me than about Him. However, I realized, as I processed some of life’s challenges and hurts with my friends, that in the moments when I feel like nothing worth a hill of beans is happening in my life are the very moments when God is doing extraordinary things in me. There is no rush in spiritual growth. It is a one-small-step-at-a-time walk. This is not a competition. It is a personal journey.
As I boarded the plane home, wiping tears from my eyes, I heard Michael W. Smith’s song, “Friends are Friends Forever” ringing in my head. How right he was. BFF’s forever.