Feed on
Posts
Comments

A Brief Thought On Motherhood

Jul 27th, 2011 by Amy

Moms come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, histories, gifts and callings.  Motherhood is not a “one size fits all” deal.  In theory this is a great truth.  In practice it can be very challenging to accept and believe.

Some moms work outside the home, some moms are full time homemakers.  Some moms send their kids to public school, some to private school, and some choose to homeschool.  Some moms are single, some are married.  Some moms are the outdoorsy types, and love camping, rock climbing, canoeing and hiking.  Some moms are crafty, some are foodies, some are musicians, some are story-tellers.  Some moms wear a high powered suit to work and lead major companies, some moms rock at farming and cattle raising.

I believe the best moms are not the moms that try to squeeze into a mold that doesn’t fit (it’s like trying to squeeze into a pair of ill-fitting jeans…that’s downright sad and painful).  The best moms are not looking at other moms and comparing themselves or wasting time by judging and criticizing.  Just as each individual comes in a unique and beautiful package, so is the role they play in motherhood.  There is no “one size fits all”.  Rather than comparing, wouldn’t it be more productive for us to extend grace to one another and realize that most moms are simply trying to do the best they can to be the best they can be?

The best moms are the moms who are grounded in their faith, obedient to the individual calling God has placed on their lives, and are operating in their God-given gifts and abilities.  These moms will truly be their best selves for their families.

“Her children will arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:  Many women do noble things but you surpass them all.  Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:28-30

If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

Posted in Faith, Life, Marriage, Motherhood | 4 Comments »

Welcome to my world…the master of the house

Jul 22nd, 2011 by Amy

A very long time ago I heard a woman speak about how to create a lovely home.   Her audience was a group of pastors’ wives, and her primary point was the importance of focusing on the master bedroom before tackling any other room in the house.  The “love nest” should be every woman’s priority.  I wish I could say I took her advice to heart and have been an obedient little pastor’s wife, but in this simple thing I have failed.

K7A18D4E1F5F25_1000027

The “love nest” is very important to me; however, in the three homes Joel and I have lived in, I have found myself setting up the kitchen and living room – and now the children’s room – before focussing on the master bedroom.  This is no reflection on the sate of my marriage.  Honest.  I’m just a practical girl.  I spend more time in my kitchen than I do my bedroom, so the kitchen comes first.

K7A18D4E1F5F25_1000028

So why am I sharing all of this with you?  Simple.  The master bedroom, even after six years in this house, is still a work in progress.  I’m still tweaking.  The former me would have put this post on hold – for 2 to 3 years – until it looked the way it does in my dreams.  But for the sake of this series, I decided to lay down my pride and give you a little preview of the master of the house.

K7A18D4E1F5F25_1000032

Before moving into our home, I imagined the most peaceful place on earth.  I daydreamed about my favorite locations in the world: Aix en Provence, Mombasa, Paris, Maasai Mara, the East Coast.  If I could wake up every morning in one spot, where would it be?  And that is how I put our master bedroom together.

ry=480-7

I’m constantly tweaking it, and I even have plans to repaint (don’t tell my husband!) because it never feels “done” to me.  Still, I get a small dose of St. Simon’s Island, Georgia, when I hide away in my room.

K7A18D4E1F5F25_1000029

While we haven’t completely banished the children from our bedroom, we do have boundaries.  It’s not a playroom.  Plain and simple.  This is sacred space, and that’s how I survive.

K7A18D4E1F5F25_1000030

The master suite is the one place where I can escape from little toys and little shoes for a few hours.  A place where I can recharge, calm down, and feel refreshed.

K7A18D4E1F5F25_1000024

Believe it or not, this has not put a damper on my relationship with my children.  They have a respect and understanding that the master bedroom is a special place.  It doesn’t hurt children to have boundaries.  It teaches them respect for other people and how to conduct themselves in other homes.  Plus, making the master bedroom a room set-apart models to my children that the relationship between mom and dad is important and a priority.

ry=480-6

Here are a few hints on small-space master suites:

  • If you have children, keep the master suite your own.  I’m all for sharing, but not this one thing.
  • Create a peaceful place.  Whatever color calms you down, use it on your walls and accent colors. K7A18D4E1F5F25_1000033
  • Stay away from big, bulky furniture pieces.  Big furniture will swallow your room whole.  Try to find pieces with character that enhance the look of the room.
  • Think storage.  There are wonderful closet storage units that help minimize clutter but also give you more closet space.  The less clothes and other items you need in the bedroom the better.

Thanks for stopping by today.  Next week, we’ll talk about the biggest obstacle to overcome in small space living.  I hope you’ll join me!

Posted in Life, Marriage, Small Space Living | 3 Comments »

Welcome to my world…sleeping arrangements

Jul 15th, 2011 by Amy

“How do you do it?  How do you sleep all three kids in one room?”

ry=400-5

DSC02949_0003_003I get asked this question…a lot.  Honestly, I’m no supermom, so I don’t usually have a good answer.  I guess the one thing we had going for us was that our kids have never known anything but sharing a room together.  This is the way it has always been.  I shared a room with my sister until we were in junior high.  And even then, we would sneak into each other’s rooms every so often just to be together.  Siblings sharing a bedroom was not a foreign concept to me, so naturally I always figured that my kids would share a room, too.  However, the idea of having my son share bedroom space with my girls was a little foreign to me.  This mental block had to be removed quickly because there really wasn’t any other option in our case.

K7A18D4E1F5F25_1000015

So, how did I do it?  Here are a few “tips” I’ve learned and try to put into practice:

K7A18D4E1F5F25_1000010

  • Attitude is 90% of the battle.  Kids are very perceptive, and they will quickly pick up on your apprehension, fearK7A18D4E1F5F25_1000008 or frustration, regarding small-space sleeping arrangements.  You don’t have to fake it, but I would try really hard to work out your own feelings before working with your kids.  When you have come to a happy place with the idea, then you can start talking it up to your little ones, including them in the planning process.
  • Be creative.  There are wonderful resources out there on how to decorate and put together shared sleeping spaces.  Better Homes and Gardens has a big idea book full of pictures and guides for those of us who need a little jump start.  I also found Pottery Barn Kids to be another excellent resource.  While you may not be able to afford their prices, perusing their website is free, and they have an entire section on how to plan children’s shared sleeping spaces.  Pick and choose the ideas that will work best for your children’s room and go from there.
  • Teach personal responsibility.  The older my children get, the more responsibilities they receive.  The oldest one is takingK7A18D4E1F5F25_1000009 care of her part of the bedroom.  Because we are working with small space, extra clutter, clothes on the floor, and unmade beds are magnified.  For some moms this might not be a big deal, but it is for me.  Therefore, my children have the primary jobs of making their beds in the morning, picking up clothes and putting them away, cleaning up their toys when they are done playing with them, and tidying up their room.  I believe it is very healthy for them to have these responsibilities because one day they will be sharing space at college, dealing with flatmates after college, and then later on in marriage.  What a great skill they are developing in showing respect for others.
  • Find a place for those treasures.  What my children perceive as treasure I tend to perceive as junk.  However, I can’t veryK7A18D4E1F5F25_1000018 well go around throwing all their special things away, as tempting as it is at times.  Therefore, I have made sure that each child has a place (shelves and baskets) where they can stow their special treasures away.  They each have a place to display keepsakes as well as storage for journals, papers, and miscellaneous items they hold dear.  The small space keeps them from saving everything, so they really have to think about what is truly important to them and then get rid of the rest.

K7A18D4E1F5F25_1000017

It is becoming more and more common these days for siblings to share bedroom space due to the growing number of families downsizing their homes.  I did my best to give you an overview on how we do things in our home; however, I realize there may be additional questions.  Please don’t hesitate to ask me anything on this topic that you would find helpful.  I am more than happy to share more details with you.

Next week, we’ll take a peek at the master suite – a no-kid zone.

Posted in Life, Motherhood, Small Space Living | 3 Comments »

Who’s Got The Power?

Jul 11th, 2011 by Amy

418f9139268c4b1797589640f1fc9ebe_6

Did you know that nothing can, or cannot, happen to you without the approval or knowledge of your heavenly Father?  Did you know that, when trouble comes, there is someone ultimately in control?  Someone who really and truly cares about you and has your best interest in mind.  Nothing, nothing, has more power over your life, or your circumstances, than the power of God.

“Where do you come from?” Pilate asked Jesus, but Jesus gave him no answer.  ”Do you refuse to speak to me?” Pilate said.  ”Don’t you realize I have the power either to free you or to crucify you?”  Jesus answered, “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above.” John 19:9-11

That’s a pretty weighty declaration Jesus makes.  Pilate thinks he’s the one calling the shots.  He assumes he’s the one with the power over Jesus’ destiny.  What Pilate doesn’t realize is that Jesus’ life is not in his hands.  If God had not given Pilate power, Jesus would not be standing before him with his life on the line.  Jesus knew this.  Jesus understood who he belonged to and for what purpose his death would serve.  Pilate was only a part of the story.

Sometimes I wrestle with this.  I find myself in a challenging situation, and I just want scratch and claw my way out of it.  I don’t want to go through difficulties.  I think maybe there is something I can do to “fix” everything.  And then I read those very simple yet profound  words of Jesus: “You would have no power over me if it had not been given from above.”

Stop for a moment and think about that.  Nothing can have power over me or you unless it has been given from above.  God is in control.  And if he is allowing the pressure of pain to push deep, then he must know that the resurrection of your life, or your dreams, or your hopes, is on its way.  The same power that was given to Pilate is the same power that raised Jesus from the dead!

Nothing can happen to us that hasn’t already passed through God’s hands.  I take great comfort in this, whether it be in the challenges I face raising my children, or when a dream seems to be pushed aside and forgotten.  God is in control.  And I really like the idea of God’s power working in my favor, even if it means facing some disappointments along the way.

Posted in Faith, Grace, Life, Ministry | 4 Comments »

Welcome to my world…lives have changed & so has the living room

Jul 8th, 2011 by Amy

K7A18D4E161CEE_1000002

We’ve lived in our charming little townhome for six years now.  When we moved in, Sydney was barely two years old, and I was still wearing Brooklyn in a baby sling.  The “plan” was to buy something small and affordable, sell in 2-3 years, buy something bigger with a yard and extra bedroom, add baby #3 and live happily ever after.  Then the housing market fell apart, and baby #3 decided to join our family two years earlier than expected.  Six years later we find ourselves “stuck” in our starter home.

K7A18D4E161CEE_1000018

C’est la vie.

K7A18D4E161CEE_1000008

As I mentioned last week, I had to accept the way things are.  Joel and I had to let go of our “plan”.  We had to, or else we would be miserable right now.  And really, there are worse things than being stuck in a small home.  For instance: losing a home, losing a loved one, or losing a job.  I count my blessings that all we lost was our plan.  Sometimes I feel like I just might be losing my mind, but then reality gives me a good smack on the head when my kids say how thankful they are…for our home.

K7A18D4E161CEE_1000016

The downstairs “great room” – consisting of the living room, dining room, and kitchen – is where we do most of our living.  It has evolved quite a bit over the past six years, going from Kiwi Green walls to an updated Gray Morning along with one or two new throw pillows.  We recently transitioned from our kiddie table to bar stools which was a big moment for me.  I’m still a huge fan of my kids’ artwork plastered all over my fridge, and I’m not willing to let that one go just yet.

K7A18D4E161CEE_1000020

A few things that have helped maximize our living space are:

  • Quickly discard anything outgrown or no longer useful (Goodwill practically knows me by name).  For a briefry=400-6 season our house was stuffed with baby items (they take up such a huge amount of space).  If you are in that boat, trust me when I say, this season will pass more quickly than you can bat an eye. Embrace it.  Cherish it.  Enjoy it.  When it’s gone you may have more space, but you won’t have this time again.
  • No coffee table.  I make the most out of our end tables.  Removing the coffee table gives us more floor space and creates an illusion that the room is bigger than it actually is.
  • De-clutter on a regular basis.  Clutter happens.  It’s a fact of life, but it doesn’t have to take over your house.  If you can stay on top of the clutter you’ll feel less and less like the walls are closing in on you.K7A18D4E161CEE_1000003
  • Fill drab spaces with things you love.  I’m very sentimental, and I have dozens of family heirlooms and keepsakes from various travels that I use to decorate.  It doesn’t necessarily create more space, but it will make you feel good.
  • Make it all about you.  I don’t mean this in an egotistical, self-centered type way.  What I mean is, don’t worry about what other people think.  Make your home look and feel the way you want it to.  This may take time.  That’s okay.  Tweaking is one of my favorite hobbies, and the longer I live here, the more this house looks like me.

Thanks for coming over.  I hope you’ve enjoyed.  Next week, we’ll take a look upstairs and talk sleeping arrangements.

K7A18D4E161CEE_1000037

Posted in Life, Small Space Living | 5 Comments »

Welcome to my world…

Jul 1st, 2011 by Amy

frontwide

I’ve decided to take a brief break from some of my “deeper” posts to share with you a glimpse into my little world.  Julia, over at Hooked on Houses, posted a story about a family that downsized from their 2500 square foot home to a 320 square foot home.  It was intriguing, to say the least.  And it certainly put some of my “little house” issues into perspective which in turn inspired me to give others a peek into my own small space living.  No.  We don’t live in 320 square feet, nor do we plan to scale down from where we are.  (Heavens, no!)  Compared to this family our house looks like a mansion.  But squeeze a growing, busy family of five into a two-bedroom townhome, and things get interesting.

fullfront

I used to say all kinds of evil things about the economy and the downturn of the housing market.  But I discovered, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, that sometimes my plans, my wants, have to adjust.  No good comes from whining, and growth can’t always be measured by the amount of wealth we gain, but by how well we manage what God has given us right now.  Instead of cursing the economy I have found a reason to say thank you.  I’ve learned a great deal about myself and my family by living in a small house.  I have learned how to be creative – turning every square inch into usable living space.  I have learned that extra stuff is just stuff, and I don’t need it.  I have learned how to use color to bring a room alive, and how to comfortably fit three kiddos into one bedroom.  I’ve learned the art of making the most of family dinner time, and how to make sure everyone has a “special” space of their own.  It’s been a challenge, but one I’ve grown to enjoy.

ry=400

And so, I want to welcome you to my world.  I want to open up my home and share with you, over the next few weeks, the real stuff that my life is made of.  I hope you’ll enjoy.

Posted in Life, Small Space Living | 6 Comments »

Jesus Said A Prayer For Us

Jun 29th, 2011 by Amy

In John 17 Jesus prayed a prayer for his disciples.  And while he was praying he was thinking about me and you.  Some 2000 years ago my face flashed through the mind of my Savior moments before he was arrested and sentenced to death.

“My prayer is not for them alone.  I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message…” (vs 20).  Jesus reached through time and space and said a prayer for me…for us.  As he prayed he visualized the face of every believer living, and those of us to come.  We were on his mind before he died for us.

And you know what he was thinking?  He was thinking what every parent thinks about during the long weeks of summer vacation when school is out and the kids are home and restless.  Please…get along.  Stop fighting.  Work it out.  Be one.

The one prayer that Jesus prayed for us was a call to be unified.

“That all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.  May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.” (vs. 21).  The way the world will know Jesus is by the example of oneness of his followers.  And this kind of unity can only come from a sincere love for one another; a love that Jesus commanded:

“One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating.  Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, ‘Of all the commandments, which is the most important?’  ’The most important one,’ answered Jesus, ‘is this: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and will all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself.  There is no commandment greater than these.’” Mark 12:28-31.

“A new command I give to you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35.

Jesus wasn’t making a friendly suggestion.  He was lovingly commanding us to live in peace with one another.  To walk in unity, from then until now.  And by this the world would know Jesus.  In that very moment, when Jesus was preparing to die, he paused and prayed for us.  He must have known how hard this command would be for us to follow.  He must have realized that I would need the extra prayer support for those days when I just want to blast another believer because they “got on my nerves” or “didn’t treat me very well”.  Whatever the justification for our irritation, Jesus commanded us to love.  To love as Christ loved us.  To be one as Christ is one with the Father.

So, how are we doing on this?  I know I have a lot of room for improvement.  Which makes me both humbled and grateful that Jesus said a prayer for me.  That Jesus was thinking of me all those years ago.  It reminds me of how much he loves me…and how much he loves this crazy, messed up world.

ry=480

Posted in Faith, Ministry | No Comments »

Either Jesus Was In A Bad Mood Or He Had A Serious Fig Craving

Jun 27th, 2011 by Amy

(Once upon a time…)

“Early in the morning, as he (Jesus) was on his way back to the city, he was hungry.  Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves.  Then he said to it, ‘May you never bear fruit again!’  Immediately the tree withered.” (Matthew 21:18 & 19)

This same story is relayed in Mark 11:12-14:

“The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry.  Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit.  When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs.  Then he said to the tree, ‘May no one ever eat fruit from you again.’”

My initial thought is, “Wow.  Was Jesus in a bad mood, or what?”  Cursing fig trees.  That’s kind of how I get when I haven’t had enough sleep.  I just want to curse my fridge for not having anything edible in it, and I want to throw every toy in my path into the garbage.  However, Jesus’ words and actions are always intentional.  The Jewish New Testament Commentary calls this “making a point by means of a prophetic drama, an acted-out parable.”  Look at the story in Mark again.  It was not the season for figs.  Surely Jesus already knew that.  This is the same Jesus who saw Nathaniel, in John 1:43-51, sitting under a fig tree before they even met.  And it’s not like hunger was something that could undo Jesus either.  Remember when he was tempted by the devil after fasting for 40 days and 40 nights (Matthew 4:1-4)?  This was no fig craving Jesus was having.

So why was he cursing a poor, defenseless plant?  Jesus was acting out a parable in front of his disciples to make a very serious point:  bear fruit.  A fig tree in leaf holds the promise that fruit is coming.  ”We know that Yeshua expects God’s people to put forth the fruit of righteousness, and that unproductive branches will be thrown in the fire.  Thus the drying-up of the fig tree is an acted-out warning.”  Living fruitful lives is that important to Jesus.  He wasn’t in a bad mood.  He didn’t have a craving for figs.  Jesus took an ordinary fig tree and lovingly turned it into a teachable moment for his disciples, and us who follow him.

“Yeshua here is teaching his followers what it means to serve their master, God: it means simply to have the kind of trust that comes from God (vs. 22), and that they will wither away if they don’t.  Yeshua neither acts from pique nor performs arbitrary miracles like a magician; every one of his supernatural acts has spiritual significance.” – David H. Stern

The warning: bear fruit or wither away.  Jesus has some pretty high expectations of us.  It’s not enough to have pretty leaves hanging from our branches.  We must produce fruit; otherwise, we are useless.  And the type of fruit we are called to produce can only come from trusting in God and walking with him every day.  We can’t force the fruit to grow, just as a fig tree can’t produce figs on demand.  It takes watering from the Word, and constant contact with our Lord.  And all things are possible for those who believe.  ”If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer (vs.22).”  To live this kind of  life all we have to do is ask God and believe, and he will work the soil, plant the seeds, and water to a fruitful harvest.  That’s a promise.

Maybe Jesus really did have a fig craving, but not the physical kind.  Maybe he has a craving to see more fruit in our lives.  And this he takes very seriously.

Posted in Faith, Life, Ministry | No Comments »

I Never Promised You A Rose Garden

Jun 23rd, 2011 by Amy

John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”

I like happy stories.  My favorite part of a movie is usually the opening scene showing a happy family going about their business, innocent and peaceful.  Stress builds in the pit of my stomach when the plot begins to unfold and the happy family is suddenly shaken by monsters or tidal waves or earthquakes and the like.  I want to go back to the beginning where everyone is happy.  I just don’t like trouble.

And Jesus’ last words to his disciples in John 16 is a guarantee that trouble is brewing.  Trouble is a promise.  Life isn’t going to be easy and smooth.  It is going to be hard, especially for those who believe in Jesus.  The happy picture isn’t going to be the whole story.  There will be monsters and tidal waves and earthquakes.  There will be broken relationships, hurt feelings, financial difficulties, and challenges raising children.  The minute we say “yes” to Jesus doesn’t suddenly make us immune to the pain of this world.  It’s like Jesus is trying to tell us here, “I beg your pardon.  I never promised you a rose garden.”

The Jewish New Testament Commentary says this: “The life of a believer in the Messiah is not the proverbial rose garden, except, perhaps, for the thorns.  Nevertheless, Yeshua encourages us: Be brave!  I have conquered the world!”

So, life is hard.  And a life devoted to Jesus is even harder.  That’s not very happy news.  However, while Jesus doesn’t promise us a rose garden life, he does promise us that, while there will be thorns that prick us and cause deep pain, we can take heart.  Jesus has already conquered the thorns.  He has already won the victory over the monsters and the tidal waves and the earthquakes and the like.  We can be brave.

Jesus holds the salve for every thorn that pricks our skin.  And while we may not see the happy ending just yet, it is coming.  The same God that has overcome the world has overcome our problems.  He gives us peace and assurance of his faithfulness.  And that is the promise we can hold on to…till the very end.

DSC04842

Posted in Faith, Life, Ministry | 2 Comments »

The Things We Hold On To

Jun 21st, 2011 by Amy

I successfully delivered three truck loads of old baby clothes, furniture, books, toys and various kinds of paraphernalia to Goodwill today.  With the help of my parents, I confidently tackled the most ominous space in our house: the garage.  For six years it has taunted me, and I’ve been too wimpy to face the junk.  Today I conquered my fears and took my overstuffed garage by the horns.  It’s been a long day, and as we sit in the living room, nursing sore muscles and still sneezing from the dust, dirt and cobwebs, I keep thinking about all the meaningless, weighty stuff that we held on to for so many years, and wondering why it took me this long to lighten the load.

Going through boxes, plastic tubs and footlockers – that I’m sure were purchased way back in the 80’s – I was struck by the wide variety of things we have held on to: papers, old coats that went out of style 15 years ago, toys our children have outgrown.  There was even one unidentifiable object that has seen us through three different moves.  What a crazy thing to hold on to!  It was time to let it go (whatever it was).

Just as I have a tendency to hold on to material junk – you could call me a tidy hoarder – I know I am capable of holding on to other kinds of junk too: anger, hurt from the past, resentment, a grudge.  Eventually someone wise speaks into my life and says, “Isn’t it time to clean out your garage?”  And as painful and overwhelming as it seems in the moment, once I get started the better I feel.  The weight of the burden, the unidentifiable objects I’ve been carrying around for years, begin to lift, and life looks good again.

It is surprising to me the things we hold on to.  And most of those things we don’t need.  What about you?  Is it time to clean out your garage too?

Posted in Faith, Life, Ministry | 2 Comments »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »