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Hide Me

Oct 4th, 2010 by Amy

For the past few weeks I’ve been working my way through Beth Moore’s Bible study Breaking Free.  With each new day of homework a new challenge is laid out before me.  Am I willing to delve deep – to the most inner parts of my heart and soul – allowing God to open up old wounds, new hurts and daily struggles in order to walk away from this ten week study fully embracing freedom and grace?  It’s not been an easy task.  I find myself longing to run and hide; hide from people, hide from uncomfortable situations, hide from the truth inside.  However, each time I feel the temptation to run in the opposite direction of true freedom and liberation, I sense the Holy Spirit gently pulling me back and whispering words of comfort to my soul.  He is urging me to stop running from the junk hidden behind walls of false peace and protection, but rather run and hide in him.  As he reveals those areas in my life that are holding me back from fearless abandonment, he also reveals to me the shadow of his wings, the covering of his presence and the peace of his protection.  There is no fear in deliverance because God is always there to watch over and hide me in his shadow.

Psalm 17:8

Keep me as the apple of your eye, hide me in the shadow of your wings.

Psalm 32:7

You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.

Psalm 91:1

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High will abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

Wherever you are in your journey, remember, God is with you.  His eye is forever upon you.  When your feet are two steps away from running as far from your mountain as they can possibly take you, remind yourself that there is no better place to run and hide than the shadow of the One who loves you more than life itself.  His wings will hold you firm and secure, and he will protect you from unnecessary harm.  He will give you the grace and strength to face your biggest fears and conquer your mountain once and for all.  Run to him…hide in him.  Know freedom in the secret places of your soul.  Find refuge in the shadow of the Almighty.

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Posted in Faith, Grace | 2 Comments »

Mr. Amy

Sep 19th, 2010 by Amy

First, I just want to commend and acknowledge the working moms out there.  I have always had the utmost respect for you and all that you do, but now that I am working (part time, mind you), that respect has doubled…no…tripled!  How you do it all, I don’t know.  You are the true super heros, in my opinion.

As we are working on getting into a nice groove with our new schedule, I’m afraid my poor blog has received the short end of the stick.  It pains me.  Truly, it does.  As I lay my head on my pillow each night recounting all the activities of the day, the one thing that looms overhead is how negligent I’ve been with this blog.  I’m still working on finding balance.

While I don’t have the brain cells to articulate what God’s been doing in my heart and mind over the past week, I thought I’d jot down a few of the highlights:

  • Allergies to cockroaches are nothing to laugh about.
  • Sometimes empathy is all you can give.
  • There is no sitting down on the job when you work at a preschool – there is no time to sit down.
  • My son calls me “Teacher Mommy”.
  • I have surprised myself at how much I can actually do in a 24 hour period.
  • God’s grace truly is sufficient, and his power is made perfect in my weakness.
  • Waking up before the rest of the world to be in the Word and pray, as difficult as it is some days, pays off when someone asks for prayer, and there is a pool of spiritual strength to draw from.
  • God isn’t expecting perfection, just willingness to try.
  • I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
  • And finally, I have grown quite fond of being called “Mr. Amy” by the little three-year-old boy in my Friday class.  It comes out more as a “Mith-ter Amy”, and my heart melts.

The lunches have been packed and prepared for the rest of the week, book bags are sitting by the door, clothes set out, and the coffee pot ready to brew at 5:15 am.  Mr. Amy will be getting back to work in the morning, ready to take on a new week.

Posted in From The Mouth Of Babes, Fun Stuff, Grace, Life | 3 Comments »

Uprooted

Sep 12th, 2010 by Amy

If there is pain, or struggle, or an unhealthy coping mechanism that you just can’t seem to break free from, the only way you will ever know true deliverance is if you pull it out by the roots.  You have to dig deep inside, go straight to the source of the problem, face it head on, and yank it out will all your might.  Yes, it will hurt.  Yes, there may be a season of sowing tears and heart ache, but if you want to be free…really free…you have to go to the root of the problem.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if God would zap us with one magical finger every time we had an emotional breakdown, addiction, or sin issue in our lives – that we could experience instant, gratifying healing?  I know there have been many times when I’ve been in a heap of hurt and brokenness, and my first thought has been, “If God would just hit me with his best shot, I would be happy, renewed, and ready to take on the world.”  For whatever reason, God has never chosen to do anything instantly in my life.  On the contrary, he has allowed me to go through long and painful seasons of discovery and healing.  I am human, and I would much prefer instant gratification.  However, just as we all have to learn delayed gratification in our day-to-day lives, God knows that many times instant healing would never allow us to learn, grow, and uncover the deeper mystery of our Heavenly Father.  If I truly want to walk in freedom,  I have to allow God to literally uproot my life.  I have to allow him complete access to dig deep inside, reveal the root of my issues, and then pull them out.  Otherwise, all I am getting is a counterfeit healing.

I don’t know about you, but I want real healing.  I want something that is going to last, and I want to walk away complete in him.  Weeds that simply get a nice trim are still weeds, and they will grow back.  Weeds that have been pulled out by the root are gone for good, and that’s the kind of healing that I want.  Healing that is done for good.

How do we do this?  Where do we start?

First, recognize and admit there is a problem in your life.  Come to grips with the dysfunction, and stop trying to avoid facing the facts.

Second, reach out to God.  Ask him for his help, and surrender your life to his hands.

Third, surround yourself with godly people whom you trust that can be a support, provide accountability, and walk through this journey of healing alongside you.  We have been given the church – the Body of Christ – as a gift.  Not just a group of people to hang out with and enjoy a good bar-b-que with from time to time (which is wonderful, for sure), but a group of people that will speak truth in love and offer authentic friendship.  Don’t be afraid to reach out.

Fourth, as the Body of Christ is doing its work, you, too, must do your work.  Be proactive in the healing process.  The longer you wait, holding out for God to zap you, the longer you delay your day of freedom.

When Jesus healed in the Bible, it was never just that one issue that the person brought to him.  His healing was always, and is still always, multi-dimentional.  He healed the whole person, from the inside out.  I realize these four steps may seem a bit simplified, but they are a start to delving deeper to the root of your problem, and allowing God to uproot your life multi-dimensionally.

Posted in Faith, Ministry | 1 Comment »

September

Sep 9th, 2010 by Amy

September is one of those crazy, transitional months that I look forward to all through August and then panic and stress out when “the first” finally arrives.  I can’t wait to get back into the swing of routine, shuffling kids out the door for school, and the pre-mature glimpses of the approaching fall season.  At the same time, I worry that I’ll forget something (like someone’s school supplies or my mind, perhaps), spend half my day running late for the next thing, get to work with that unprepared feeling, and never get enough sleep.  It’s the little unforseen bugs in the system that keep me up at night.  Usually, by October, we’ve worked out all the kinks, but until then, I’m barely hanging on by a thread.

Needless to say, amidst all the transition and figuring out of schedules, new routines and such, I have discovered a trick for survival.  I have found something that warms my every fiber from the inside out, calms my frantic nerves, and comforts me when I wake up at 4:30 am trying to plan out my day.  September calls for a heaping dose of Psalms and Starbucks.

Psalms speaks to my soul, reminds me of God’s faithfulness, his provision for all of our needs (no matter how big or small), and his unfailing love in spite of my failure to live up to my own expectations.  Starbucks makes me smile with their soy caramel machiattos and pumpkin spice lattes.  They remind me of how glorious fall can be with the changing colors, cool, crisp mornings, my favorite sweaters, and Notre Dame football.

September will not overwhelm me.  I will soar above the chaos with Psalms and Starbucks.  They will see me through all this transition, and October will roll right in like an enormous pumpkin on my doorstep.

This is September.  This is how I survive.

What about you?

Posted in Grace, Life, Motherhood | No Comments »

Though It Linger…

Sep 5th, 2010 by Amy

Habakkuk 2:3 “Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.” 

Sometimes it would appear as though God has forgotten all about us.  The promises he made that we have been holding onto are becoming increasingly difficult to believe.  Somehow, someway, we have this yearning to see God do something.  And yet, he continues to remain silent to our pleas, our cries, our heartfelt prayers and petitions.

Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life.”

Hope is not to disappoint us.  Hope is supposed to carry us through.  Sometimes hope is all we have.  But what happens when our hope is deferred?  What happens when every last effort and hope has been depleted and we’re left with nothing?  We feel the sudden pang of heart sickness.  Pain.  Sorrow.  Disappointment.  There is no masking the deep sadness that accompanies lost hope.

What do we do when we’ve reached the end of our rope?  When we’ve prayed so much that our cheeks are soggy from tears and our eyes are swollen and red?  How do we proceed?

We wait.

When we’ve prayed all that we can pray.  When words fail us, and we don’t even see the end of the tunnel, and the clock is ticking, and we’re tired and weary…we wait.

“Though it linger…”

Though the promise is slow in coming…though the explanation has yet to be clear…though the darkness is heavy all around…

“…wait for it!”

Hold on…don’t waver in unbelief and doubt.  Trust.  Look heavenward to where your hope is secure…and wait.

“It will certainly come and will not delay.”

God is faithful to his promises, and though in our finite world it would appear as though God is slow, he is working every detail out for our benefit.  The answer will come.  The longing will certainly be fulfilled.  And hope will be renewed.

The same God who holds the world in his hands…holds my world in his hands…and he holds your world in his hands.  The very things that are precious to us are precious to him.  He cares deeply about those things that concern us.  He knows.  He empathizes, and he is working on our behalf.

Don’t give up.  Keep on trusting.  Lean into the Father.  Saturate your mind in the Word.  And wait.

Romans 4:18-21

Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, “So shall your offspring be.”  Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead – since he was about a hundred years old – and that Sarah’s womb was also dead.  Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had the power to do what he had promised.

Posted in Faith | 1 Comment »

It’s Going To Get Interesting…

Aug 31st, 2010 by Amy

Oh. My. Lord. 

 

My life seems to have made a hard left-hand turn.  And let me just say this before I go on…this turn of events is an answer to many, many prayers (spoken and unspoken).

 

I’m going back to work, people!  I haven’t worked outside the home since I was pregnant with Sydney.  We’re talking over seven years of being a stay-at-home mom.  Seven of the most rewarding years of my life, I might add.  My little man, Jackson, starts preschool next week, and Brooklyn enters kindergarten.  And God opened the door for me to work at their school. 

 

For several years I’ve put feelers out for a job…a means to help our family financially.  For several years every door I’ve knocked on has either closed or no one has even answered.  Until this year.  I didn’t even touch the door, and the next thing I knew…I was offered a job…more than I expected.  If you were to pinch me, I’d swear I must be dreaming.  But I’m not.

 

Things are about to get interesting.  I am actually writing this post from the center of household chaos while dealing with multiple interruptions from three bored little ones.  (I’m going to try and make it a short one.)  

 

As I’ve been getting ready for the start up of school, preparing myself to go back to work and finishing up end of summer activities, my “to do” list continues to grow and grow and grow.  The perfectionist in me is stressing because of the driven nature to make sure everything is…well…perfect.  And I’m trying to keep all the balls in the air – this blog included – and I’m starting to worry that something is going to fall short of my high expectations, and I’m realizing that there is a deep cry within me for one thing. 

 

Balance.

 

In order to attain balance, I am going to have to restructure.  The first thing I am placing on the back burner is this blog.  I am not quitting…oh heavens no.  However, I will be cutting back on the number of posts produced.  If I have nothing to write, then I’m not going to write.  If I have no time to write, then I’m not going to write.  I am going to focus on quality…not quantity.  As of yet, I’m not sure what this is going to look like, or if I will eventually come up with a schedule of sorts.  However, the blog will have to get used to its new place in the priorities of my life.

 

My home is all a’bustle with excitement.  Rather than look at Brooklyn starting kindergarten as something to mourn, or the fact that my little guy is going to be in preschool, I have begun to celebrate this brand new season in our lives.  I’ll be honest with you, change is not an easy thing for me.  But what I’ve learned in my very short life is that change can be my friend.  I am taking my kids on a journey to embrace change, and it all begins with me.  My attitude.  My countenance.  While I appreciate and cherish the past seven years as a gift from God, I can look ahead and know with confidence that this next season is also a gift from God.  And I’m ready to see what new things God has for us. 

 

It’s going to get interesting.  And I can. not. wait.

 

Isaiah 43:18

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

Posted in Faith, Life, Motherhood | 2 Comments »

The Scrambler

Aug 27th, 2010 by Amy

oakspark

Jackson barely passed the height requirement for the “Scrambler” ride at the city amusement park.  I was hopeful that he’d still be too small, but we grow ‘em up tall in the Slater family, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when the girls squealed out that Jackson was tall enough.

 

In my mind I imagined the ride would take us up and down, around in circles a few times, and then we would be done.  Au contraire.  As I sat wedged between Sydney and Brooklyn, giddy with excitement, our enthusiastic “Woo hoo’s” were slowly silenced as the “Scrambler” started to live up to its name.  Whipping us around like poor little eggs in a frying pan, I realized this ride was a bit more intense than a simple city park ferris wheel.  About the time the world around us turned into a blur of color, the smiles on Sydney’s and my face disappeared and were replaced by looks of serious concern and deep concentration.  I kept envisioning our bucket seat flying off its steal arm and twirling into oblivion.  Brooklyn, however, didn’t stop ”woo hoo-ing” until the ride came to a complete halt.  In between mental pleas of, “Jesus, help us!” and heart palpitations, I tried to get a visual on the boys, but they were just out of view.  At the end, as we were unstrapping our tense bodies from the seats, my eye caught Joel’s.  Jackson was good.  He loved every second of the ride.  My nerves calmed.

 

Why was I worried?  Joel’s steady hand was on my little guy the whole ride.  The steal arm holding the bucket seats of the “Scrambler” was sturdy and trustworthy.  There was nothing to fear.  I spent a couple of minutes with my body stiff as a board when I should have been screaming with delight.  I think Brooklyn may have been the only one of the five of us who really let loose and had fun in the midst of the scramble.

 

What did I learn?  Life sometimes feels like we’re riding on the “Scrambler”.  There are so many uncertainties, thrills, terrifying twists and turns, but just like Joel’s hand holding my little Jackson safe, God’s hand is holding us…firm and secure.  His eye is upon us.  His attention never shifts.

 

I want to be more like Brooklyn as I ride the scrambler of life.  I want to release my grip and trust the steady hand that holds me; that hand that will never leave me.  Even when the world is spinning, and I’m not sure where the next dip in the ride is going to take me, I want to let go, feel the wind whip across my face, and trust the strong, capable arms of my Heavenly Father.

 

Life is a crazy ride, but we don’t have to live it in fear.  I think God just wants us to sit back, “woo hoo” a little bit more, and trust Him…in every spin along the way.

Posted in Faith, Life, Motherhood | 5 Comments »

Chiseled To Perfection

Aug 23rd, 2010 by Amy

“Pain is dysfunction leaving the body…” – How People Grow.

When a master cutter sits down to cut a diamond, he must keep in mind the amount of pressure and the angle of each cut that goes into the process.  It is tedious work.  It is work that requires great skill and patience.  The diamond, as it is being chiseled to perfection, loses parts of its original self in order to shine its brightest, and hold the greatest amount of value, light, and clarity as possible.

As God takes our imperfect lives and chisels them with his masterful hands, we most assuredly will feel the pain of his cut and the intensity of his pressure.  Yet, with each painful touch, something dysfunctional is cut away; the sickness and imperfections of our lives removed so that the brilliance of God’s presence can be seen more clearly through us.

The discomfort of growth can almost cause us to halt or stunt the process.  We forego beauty and value for relief and temporary comfort.  This is sad.  This brings nothing but more pain…more dysfunction.

God is perfection.  The ultimate in beauty and radiance.  The more he chisels away the impurities of our lives, the more we are made perfect in him.  No…I’m not saying we will be perfect, but it is Christ in us that will be perfected.

I Corinthians 13:10 “When perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.”

When the perfect Christ comes into our imperfect lives, the process of chipping away the old begins and continues throughout our lives.

It is Christ being made perfect in me that I long for.  I realize this desire comes at a price.  It comes at the hands of the Master Cutter.  He takes the rough diamond of my life, holds it in his hands, and begins the process of perfection.  While I can’t say I take joy in the pain, I can say that the loss of dysfunction and flaws will one day be a testimony of God’s faithful handiwork in me.

Chiseled to perfection.

Posted in Faith | 2 Comments »

Verdict In: Not Guilty

Aug 16th, 2010 by Amy

John 8:32

You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

When I was a little girl growing up in Kenya, my parents would pack up the family twice a year, and we would head off to a week-long missions retreat. During the day, my parents would sit through business meetings and sessions while the kids played or had some sort of structured activity time.  In the evening, we would all come together after dinner for a church-type service.

I loved going to our mission retreats.  They were truly the highlight of my year.  Whether it was the anticipation of going to the beach for a week, or seeing my MK friends who went to boarding school, or the super-cute MK boy who lived in Malawi (and all the girls swooned); there was so much to look forward to.  However, along with my giddy excitement came a nagging sense of guilt and fear.  Not only would I be seeing the cute boy from Malawi, but I would also be seeing lots of missionary Aunts and Uncles.  I loved my surrogate family very much; however, I lived in a perpetual state of fear that God was whispering in their ears all the bad thoughts I’d had, or the fact that I neglected to do my devotions for over a month, or the times I had lied to my mom and dad throughout the year.  They were about the most godly people I had ever known, and I was certain they were going to call me out, read my mail, and the true ugliness of my soul would be exposed.

This never happened, of course.  The only time someone had a word from the Lord for me was to encourage and uplift, never to condemn and judge.  Still, the fear was always there.

Interestingly, I still struggle with guilt.  Whether or not I’ve done anything wrong, I am always waiting with baited breath for someone to come and call me on the carpet for all my sins.  I have discovered that I am a victim of condemnation…and that has never been God’s intention or plan for my life.

Paul tells us that there is no condemnation for those of us who are in (who know and are known by) Christ Jesus.  No condemnation.  No guilt.  As far as God is concerned, our slate has been washed clean, and we can stand before him blameless.  We are in Christ Jesus.

Jesus is truth.  Jesus is the embodiment of all that is right and holy.  If we are in him, and if we know him, then we know truth.  Truth sets us free.  And the truth is that God sent his Son to die on a cross and conquer death, so that our sins could be covered and forgiven.  The truth is that we are sinful people, in spite of being new creations, but because Jesus is in us, we receive a pardon for our past, present, and future.

Just as Jesus is the truth, he also reveals the truth.  This has been a powerful lesson for me.  I know Jesus.  Therefore, I can go to him, in whatever state I am in, and ask him to lead me and guide me in the truth.  I love how David articulated his plea for the truth in Psalm 139:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

If my mind is cloudy, and I am feeling the weight of oppressive guilt and shame, all I need to do is call on God.  Ask him to search my heart, invite him in to my thoughts, and allow him to lead me on the path that will bring him glory.  As he reveals his truth (not mine) to me, then I experience freedom in him.

If I have stumbled, then he gently lets me know, and he will guide me to repentance.  If I am simply walking along with undue guilt and shame, then he will bring clarity and assurance.  Either way, I am free.

The fact of the matter is those of us who are in Christ Jesus are no longer guilty.  Do we still sin?  Yes.  But true conviction, brought by the Holy Spirit, should not choke us up in guilty chains.  Rather, conviction of sin should motivate us to Godly sorrow and a hunger for repentance.  Guilt is not from God.  Shame and condemnation are not from God.

The verdict is in, my friends.  And it reads, “NOT GUILTY!”

*For more on this subject, I would highly encourage you to read the book How People Grow, by Cloud and Townsend (authors of Boundaries).

Posted in Books, Faith, Grace, Ministry | 3 Comments »

You Got A Friend In “Nee”

Aug 13th, 2010 by Amy

IMG_3742

Way back (you know, back in the 90’s) when the original Toy Story movie came out, a friend of mine took her two pre-school age nephews to see it.  Weeks following their big movie experience, the youngest was heard singing, “You got a friend in nee!”  Julie, my friend, tried to correct him explaining that the song actually says, “You got a friend in me…m-m-meeee!”  He would hear nothing of it and replied emphatically, “No, Aunt Ju-wee!  It’s, ‘You got a friend in nee…n-n-neeee!’”

Whichever interpretation works for you, I think it’s safe to say that friendships are a gift, and Toy Story does an incredible job of reaching into the heart of what it means to be there for someone.

Over the past two weeks a phenomenal thing has happened to me.  Phenomenal in that I was the recipient of random acts of friendship.  I have friends all over the world.  Some I haven’t seen since grade school, some not since college, and others I haven’t seen in a couple of days.  Randomly, I received messages, texts, and even a great, big hug from several of these friends.  They were all praying for me.  I hadn’t spoken to, nor even seen, some of these individuals, and yet God brought me to mind at a time that I really needed prayer.  How cool is that?  They had no idea what challenges I was facing, or that I had found three gray hairs that morning.  God used his people to reach out to me, and I felt encouraged to keep pressing on.

I learned two powerful things through this:

First, God is deeply concerned about every detail of my life, and while I may not receive audible messages straight from Heaven, He speaks to me through His Body of believers…my friends.  He knows what we need when we need it, and as imperfect as we are, He loves to use us to encourage one another.  My friends were obedient to God’s prompting, and I was blessed.

Second, when God brings someone to my mind, and I pray for them, I need to let them know.  There are countless times when a person flashes through my mind.  I usually don’t know what, or if anything, is going on with them, but I know I’m supposed to pray.  What I am realizing, however, is that it’s not complete until I’ve let them know.

So often I think we feel isolated and alone in our circumstances.  Maybe being home all day with the kids, or working full-time and struggling to find balance, or focusing on a difficult transition finds us wondering if anyone knows where we are or the struggles we’ve been facing.  As a part of the Body of Christ, it is becoming more clear to me that reaching out with a quick word or hug is being Jesus to my friends.

It’s a simple way of saying, “Hey!  You got a friend in nee!”

Friday’s Free Advice:  If someone crosses your mind, stop, pray, and then let them know!

Posted in Faith, Life, Ministry | 3 Comments »

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