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Friday’s Free Advice

May 7th, 2010 by Amy

We have a lot of leaders in our home.  Inevitably, there is a constant battle to be the line leader (it doesn’t matter if we’re just walking to a different room…everyone wants to be first).  My children will literally tackle each other in order to claim this coveted position.  This morning a genius moment of mommy creativity flashed in my mind.  As Jackson was bringing up the rear heading downstairs for breakfast, I could tell he was on the brink of a meltdown.  Then it dawned on me…Jackson wasn’t last…Jackson was…THE CABOOSE!  I told him, with excitement brimming from my voice, “Jackson!  You get to be THE CABOOSE!”  He looked questioningly at me, and I repeated, “Jackson…YOU get to be THE CABOOSE!”  His whole face lighted up.  He marched boldly down the stairs and proclaimed to his sisters, dad, and all of creation, “I’m the CADOOSE!  Look at me!” 

 

Sometimes it’s as simple as changing our perspective. 

 

There are nights when I will lay my head down on my pillow and feel like I botched every single item on my list of responsibilities.  I can beat myself to a pulp for something I said, or didn’t say; for not spending enough quality time with each of my children, or allowing myself to feel overwhelmed because I don’t think who I am is enough. 

 

In these quiet moments I am learning to pause and ask God to help me look on my life with a fresh perspective.  I ask him to help me see clearly those areas where I need to humble myself and make adjustments, and then release those things that are out of my control.  I ask him to help me accept the fact that I can’t do everything, and teach me to walk boldly in his perfection, because I am never going to be perfect.  I ask him to give me a fresh perspective, a fresh grasp of his grace and a fresh appreciation for others.

 

And he always does.  I find that I am asking God for a healthy dose of new perspective a lot these days.  I can’t be a wife, mother, daughter, friend and leader without him.  Where I am weak, he is my superwoman strength, enabling me to leap tall heaps of laundry and dirty dishes in a single bound.  And when my perspective is off, he is faithful to come to my rescue every. single. time.

 

Friday’s Free Advice:  If you are feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders and it is crushing you, maybe it’s time to stop and ask God to give you a change of perspective in your situation.  I was talking to a friend recently, and for her it was as simple as a good night’s rest.  It is amazing what a little change in perspective can do for a soul!

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Posted in Faith, Life, Ministry, Motherhood | 2 Comments »

Sweet Spot

May 5th, 2010 by Amy

“When life’s biggest disappointments cause a bitterness that you just can’t seem to shake, know that the Lord wants to step in and reveal the miracle of his restoring power in your heart.  He can take your biggest struggle and heartache – the one that causes your chest to ache with frustration – and turn it into the sweet spot on which your spiritual outlook hinges.”    – Priscilla Shirer from her Bible Study, “One In A Million”.

 

This statement has lingered with me for several days now.  Our current heartache, whatever that might be, is the very thing in which God can, and will, transform into a sweet spot. 

 

A sweet spot.

 

When I think of sweet, I think of honey, homemade chocolate chip cookies, kisses from my kiddos, the night Joel proposed to me, the first time I saw my babies on a sonogram, and walking on the beach with sand between my toes.  Those are all marvelous things to me.  The word sweet does not conjure up thoughts of heartache, struggle, and pain.  When I think sweet, I don’t think about a wilderness journey.  Yet, just maybe my perception of sweet is off.  Perhaps the very thing in my life that frustrates and overwhelms me is the very thing that God is using to draw me close to him – causing me to cling to him with all my might.

 

Life is so multi-dimensional.  There may be clouds hovering over one area while sunlight shines down on another.  Sometimes there are more clouds than sun, and finding a sweet spot is like looking for sugar in a saltshaker.

 

When we moved into our current home, we had a baby and a two-year-old.  We didn’t need a lot of space, and really couldn’t afford much more than our tiny townhome at the time.  We dreamed big.  We anticipated living in this house for a couple years and then moving on up to something bigger to meet the needs of our growing family.  Then two things happened all around the same time: I found out I was pregnant with Jackson, and the housing market plummeted.  Needless to say, five years later, we are still living in our two-bedroom townhome with no yard.  Believe me, there have been days when I have felt the frustration of this situation so strong and wondered how long will we have to live like this. 

 

Last fall, as we were settling back into the routine of school, ballet, Bible study, etc, something very powerful occurred to me.  I was putting up what few fall decorations I have and began reflecting on all of the autumn seasons we’ve spent in our home, how each year has been a little different from the last, and just how much life and memories we have lived here: Brooklyn learned to crawl and walk, Jackson was brought home from the hospital to this very house – the only home he’s ever known – miracles witnessed in our kitchen and living room, Christmases, Easter egg hunts, birthday parties, and countless Friday Family Movie Nights.  This little townhome, that sometimes feels like it’s closing in on me, is our home…a very sweet place.  And to my children, it is not a piece of real estate that has depreciated in market value.  It is their home – their sweet spot.  

 

God has taught me so many things here too.  He’s taught me to think creatively, outside the box, stretching me to find ways to maximize our living space.  He has also taught me to be content, no matter what situation I am in.  I realize that this issue of mine may seem petty and small in comparison to all of the real heartache and sorrow out there in our world.  However, this is one cloud, a piece of the bigger puzzle, revealing that as much as I would love to have a picture-perfect life, not everything will always be picture-perfect.  This little ‘ole house is not something that I simply have to put up with, but it has truly become a sweet spot for me.  I am so grateful that our plans to move on up fell apart, because it has been here, in this townhome, that the most precious moments of my life have been lived…and I really don’t want to move away from that any time soon.

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Allowing God to turn our biggest disappointments into a sweet spot is not always an easy thing to do, but once we release them into his hands, there can truly be none sweeter.

 

Psalm 19:9-10

The ordinances of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous.  They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb.

Posted in Faith, Grace, Life | 4 Comments »

“Do Over” Day

May 3rd, 2010 by Amy

Have you ever wished you could stop, rewind and re-do a moment in time?  I have…pretty much on a regular basis.  This past weekend, especially, I needed a “do over” day.

On Saturday morning Sydney managed to wedge her bedroom door shut while she and Jackson were inside.  I couldn’t get it open – not even a single budge.  They were trapped.  I body slammed it so many times that I now have a lovely bruise on my left shoulder.  I could hear wailing and screaming coming from the other side of the door.  This is why we have an “open door” policy in our home.  Doors remain open at all times, unless the parents have designated otherwise.  Too many near-loss-of-fingers incidents.  We had to put the open door policy into effect.  On this day in particular, Sydney was getting wild, decided to shut Brooklyn out of the bedroom, and pretty much closed herself in for a thirty minute time-out.

Was I frustrated?  Yes.  I was.  Did I manage this situation in a calm and peaceful manner?  Hmmm….I could have done better.

Stop.  Rewind.  Try again.

Some friends had invited us over to their home for lunch after church yesterday.  We enjoy this family so much, and their girls are the same ages as our girls.  The afternoon was going well until their youngest daughter came running inside from the backyard and announced that Brooklyn had told Jackson to throw dirt on her.  And he did.  My children were on the fast track to cranky-ville, and it was becoming clear that they were suffering from a severe case of nap-deficiency.  Not an excuse for bad behavior, but certainly a contributing factor.

As I was sitting in my friends’ living room, holding Jackson and Brooklyn on my lap (both in full blown melt-down mode), singing “Little Mister Roo” all I could think about was, “Can I have a ‘do over’?”.

Stop.  Rewind.  Try again.

Jackson was up at 3:30 this morning.  His, “Mommy! Mommy!” cries pulled me out of a deep coma.  He needed help going potty.  I couldn’t get back to sleep after that.  I laid in my bed thinking about all the things I need to do today, all the things coming up this week, all the things I am running behind in, and how much I wish I could escape to a nice, warm beach somewhere.  Needless to say, when my alarm went off at 5:30 am, I turned it off, rolled over and closed my eyes.

I woke up late.  Bad start to the day.

Stop.  Rewind.  Try again.

Psalm 103:11&12 “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

Romans 4:7&8 “Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.  Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him.”

In my world of “high expectations” I really blew it a time or two this weekend.  It is Monday morning, and as I look to the past I fear it has set me up for a less than stellar week.  I wonder if I could do the weekend over, somehow I could set everything right again.  Not so.  ”Do overs” are great, when you can actually do something over (like one of my kids waking up on the wrong side of the bed – they get to stop, go back to their room, and try again).  When you can’t, there is always the assurance that once forgiven by God all is restored.  We don’t have to rewind to try again.  We simply get to start fresh.  Start new. Start over.

So, rather than stop.  Rewind.  Try again.  I am going to stop.  Receive forgiveness.  And start anew.  I think I like this way better than a “do over” day.

Posted in Faith, Grace, Life, Motherhood | 3 Comments »

Friday’s Free Advice – When All Else Fails…

Apr 30th, 2010 by Amy

I live in the Northwest.  Rain is part of the package.  In fact, it is 99% of the way we do life here.  My daughter, Sydney, who is a native, has made it very clear to me that there is a difference between rain, drizzle, and a slight sprinkle.  It’s pretty much all the same to me.  When wet stuff falls from the sky – hard, soft, fast or slow – I call it rain.

 

A couple of days ago, I was waiting to pick Sydney up in the carpool line at her school.  We were parked a good distance from the building.  On a dry day it would make for a nice, refreshing jaunt.  On a day like this one in particular, it could only be defined as something out of a nightmare.  We were getting dumped on.  The real rain was pouring.  After I had given Jackson and Brooklyn their stave-off-the-boredom-while-waiting-for-their-sister-snacks, Jackson started bouncing in his seat saying, “Mommy, I need to go potty.”  (This seems all too familiar to me.)  “How bad?” was my reply (hoping the bouncing was more for dramatic effect).  “Mommy, I need to go potty now!”  “Can you wait until we get to Sydney’s ballet school (which is a good thirty minutes away)?” Futile.  The poor guy needed to go.  What to do?

 

As I visualized myself wading through the puddles and raindrops with two children and a broken umbrella, I could feel a panic attack coming on (I’ve never had one, but I’m pretty sure that’s what was happening to me).  Not to mention that I was dressed “up” for a class I would be teaching that evening (a parenting class, no less).  I found an old zip-lock baggy, and was struck with instant inspiration.  Maybe he could tinkle in the baggie?  But then what?  There was no trash nearby…nowhere to dispose the evidence.  Jackson was beginning to wriggle and bounce even more intensely.  Then I noticed one of my water bottles.  I brought two with me that afternoon: one for the car, and one for later.  I quickly chugged the remaining water from bottle number one and turned to Jackson.

 

“Jackson, you are going to go pee-pee in this bottle.”

 

The look on Jackson’s face was a mixture of confusion, shock. and a little fear.

 

“Jackson, this is going to be fun.  You are going to put your pee-pee in this water bottle!”

 

I began unfastening him.  He was warming up to the idea.  We got everything situated…and…”tah-dah!”…mission accomplished.

 

The first words out of Jackson’s mouth were, “Mommy, this is fun!” 

 

“Yes, it is.”

 

Then he added, “Look!  It’s yellow!  My favorite color!”

 

Oh happy day!

 

Have no fear.  The contents were emptied out on an unsuspecting bush later after the rain died down.  And as far as I can tell, there has been no emotional damage done.

 

So, tell me…when all else fails, what do you do?

 

Friday’s Free Advice:  Share your “When All Else Fails” stories.  I would certainly love to hear them!  Mommy moments are much more fun when shared with other mommies…who have been there a time or two.

Posted in Fun Stuff, Grace, Life, Motherhood | 3 Comments »

Grace For A Budding “Frugalista”

Apr 28th, 2010 by Amy

Last week I quickly jotted down a few thoughts on grace.  After three decades plus of serving God, it would appear that my heart has reawakened to the glorious grace he has for me…that he has always had for me.  Where on earth have I been?  Oh, yeah, that’s right…I’ve been over there in the corner, comparing myself to the mom whose five-year-old is learning multiplication while I don’t even understand the directions for Sydney’s first grade math homework.  And wouldn’t you know it, just as I have stepped into the irresistible life of grace, the enemy has been on alert – prepping for that one moment of weakness when he can swoop in and tear me down. 

 

I spent a weekend get-away with a couple of girlfriends recently.  It was fabulous.  We got out of town, sat around in our sweats (hello…comfy clothes is my love language!), ate scrumptious food, watched HGTV and a good ‘ol chick flick, and – just to be certain this was a full fledged girls’ weekend – there was a whole lot of talking.  While the headache from sleep deprivation nearly took me out the morning after, I had a truly amazing time.  However, there were a few moments of internal struggle for me off and on throughout our conversations.  You see, I have incredible friends.  They do just about everything great.  I think I’ve mentioned this fact before in a previous post.  As we chatted it up about motherhood, our kids, and our hubbies, I almost had to pinch myself because, for a moment, I truly thought I was in the presence of female greatness.  They do it all.  Not that their lives have been perfect because each has had her fair share of personal struggle, but they’ve handled every challenge superbly.  And to top it off…they are serious coupon clippers – down to their portable coupon file-a-folders.  When they broke these babies out, I thought I would fall off my seat.  One gal asked me if I “do” coupons.  Yes, I do “do” coupons, but apparently not like they do.  Listening to them gab on and on about all the free stuff they get with coupons, the $5 Target purses and a lifetime supply of Coke, a little voice in my head started taunting me. 

 

“You only thought you were a good steward of your money.  Look at these women.  They really know how to manage what God has given to them.  God only blesses those who steward their money well.”

 

Ugh.  Needless to say, I left that conversation with a huge knot in my stomach.  This kind of thinking, however, is completely distorted.  In the past I would have allowed the untrue message to eat me alive, but not this time!

 

My thoughts turned to God’s truth (and even with the truth in mind, I had to battle this one out):

 

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.  Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness.” – 2 Corinthians 9:8 & 10.

 

The beautiful thing about grace is redemption.  The beautiful thing about redemption is freedom.  And freedom is exhilarating and irresistible.  I live my life surrounded by spills and dust bunnies big enough to hop right out the door on their own, yet in the midst of it all, God is there, ready and willing to help me clean up the dirt and grime all the while holding me firmly and lovingly in his tender grasp.  And as for coupons, well, I’ll keep doing my best.  If I never win a “frugalista of the year” award, so be it.  God’s grace abounds to me in all things, and at all times.  When I am weak, he is my strength.  When I head out the door for the grocery store and forget my coupons altogether (which happened just the other day), he doesn’t judge or shake his head at me.  Rather, he helps me shop more wisely because he knows how much I depend upon him and his ability to supply and increase my store of seed.

 

And I’m pretty sure that my amazing girlfriends will still love this budding “Frugalista” in spite of my coupon file-a-folder deficiency! 

 

I’m learning to walk in God’s grace at all times, and in all things.

Posted in Faith, Grace, Life | 3 Comments »

Sisters

Apr 23rd, 2010 by Amy

Amy and Jen0002

Okay, I started off writing this morning’s post about my one year blogging anniversary, which is tomorrow (quite a week for anniversaries!).  However, after breaking up a few dozen sibling disputes over the course of an hour, my train of thought has been derailed, and I have found myself thinking about sisters.  My sister, to be exact. 

 

Her name is Jen, and today is her birthday.  I won’t tell you how old she is, even though she would have NO PROBLEM declaring my age for all to hear – she’s just that thoughtful and sweet. 

 

Jen has always been my partner in crime.  We were souly responsible for shaking a bottle of baby powder into the engine of my grandfather’s brand new riding lawn mower, which – fortunately for us - we were little and cute, and he didn’t kill us.  In the early days of itinerating, we stood side-by-side declaring, “Bwana sifiwe” and sang Amy Grant’s “I Have Decided”, making our mom so proud.  We taught Sunday school to masses of Kikuyu children on a weekly basis, and played “Kikuyu mamas” when we got home from church, wrapping our baby dolls on our backs with kikois.  We lived out brief but exciting careers as models.  We’ve been chased, on foot, by a herd of elephant, and we’ve been reprimanded in the Amsterdam airport because we tried to order Toblerone without nouget and honey.  We’ve stood up to mean girls, body surfed in the Indian ocean, helped our mother lug ten, fifty pound, carry on bags across the world (which I am convinced they made the “one carry on per person” policy in her honor), and live for pedicures and coffee talk.  We fought over boys, and cried over boys, took boys’ names and spit them out in vain, supported and held each other through bigger heartbreaks and sorrows than middle school crushes.  Jen has been my very best friend from the time we could recognize each other, and when I need a good dose of unedited reality, she’s the one I call.

 

Jen, we are as different as day is to night.  You are the wild and outspoken, and I am the steady and true.  I am so grateful that God put us in the same family.  You are a strong and giften woman, someone I truly admire and aspire to be like.  And nobody, and I mean nobody, can pull off  the White Christmas “Sisters” song like you and me, babe (believe me, I’ve heard others try).  We nail it every time.  

 

Happy Birthday, Jen!

 

Sisters.  Sisters.  There were never such devoted sisters!

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Posted in Fun Stuff, Life | 2 Comments »

Anniversary

Apr 21st, 2010 by Amy

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Joel is an All-American boy: red, white and blue and, I am convinced, bleeds the Star Spangled Banner.  He was a boy scout growing up too.  Not just a boy – like every other American boy – in a scout troop, but my hubby was an Eagle Scout.  He went all the way, solidifying his “mom and apple pie American-ness”.  He sheds a masculine tear when he hears the song, “Proud To Be An American” and has Brooks and Dunn blaring on his iPod.   That’s my guy – my All-American man.

 

Then there’s me.  Before Hannah Montana, I was the original “Best of Both Worlds” poster child, mixing my “Born in the U.S.A.”/“Girl of the Savannah” cultures.  Our home is stuffed to the gizzard with treasures I’ve collected from the far corners of the earth: Kenya, Tanzania, France, Belgium, Morocco, Sri Lanka and Singapore, to name a few.  Squeezed into a mixture of priceless family heirlooms and stateside mementos that reflect the multi-facetted me.  

 

Our cultural backgrounds aside, Joel and I hail from two completely different planets as well (you know, Mars and Venus).  Opposite in temperaments, personalities, stress management, and giftings, we are truly a match-made-in-heaven (because it had to be God that brought we two characters together – it’s the only way to explain us without using the word insane).  Yet, as insane as our union may appear to the human eye, God, in his wisdom, must have seen something extraordinary that could be when two became one.  He must have heard the deep longing in my soul for something a little bit edgy and fun, and he put Joel in my path (who lives his life somewhere between conquering the world and running around with his hair on fire).  God must have known that a guy like Joel would need a fire extinguisher every now and then, and I could bring peace to his storms. 

 

I am thankful that God spared me from past relationships that I truly believed would be his best for me.  I am thankful that God allowed me to feel the brief sting of rejection and disappointment, when other loves failed.  I am eternally grateful that God gave Joel to me.  I love his passion, intensity, his drive and determination, his teachable spirit that has proved – time and time again – that no matter what, Joel would do anything, give anything, sacrifice anything…for me.  I am his one and only gal, and he is my one and only man. 

 

Happy Anniversary, Joel!  I love you!

Posted in Marriage | 7 Comments »

Daily Dose Of Grace

Apr 19th, 2010 by Amy

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9

Amy’s translation: “His grace is sufficient when my house hasn’t been cleaned in two weeks, when Sydney’s make-up homework pile is six inches high, when I haven’t opened my Bible study book in over a week, and especially on those evenings when dinner comes from a can.  His grace abounds when I’m exhausted, sad, overwhelmed and sleep deprived, because when I am weak, He is strong.”

The power of God’s grace has pierced deep into my soul, and without it I am afraid I would live in a perpetual state of guilt.  His perfect love and all-sufficient grace have flooded my soul like an April downpour, and I’m soaking wet.  Washing away the guilt that I lug around on my shoulders every single day, He is inviting me to sing in the rain that will blossom into a beautiful array of May flowers.

I’m on a journey to rediscover God’s grace in my life, and I hope you’ll hang in here with me.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” – Galatians 5:1

Posted in Faith, Grace | 7 Comments »

Friday’s Free Advice & The Winner Is…

Apr 16th, 2010 by Amy

Late yesterday afternoon I called up my mom who was en route to D.C..  I think I may have started the conversation out with something like, “My give-away was a flop!”  She laughed.  I do believe I had prefaced the post with the possibility that it could either be divine inspiration or a HUMUNGOUS flop, hoping that the divine really did have something to do with my idea.  In any case, as I was talking about the one person who threw her hat in the ring to participate in the “pay it forward” give-away, my mom gently pointed out that this was not entirely a flop.

 

Tammy, whom I have known for some 25 years, is the winner of the My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself give-away.  I’m so happy for her because she was the very first person to comment on my book review too (I kind of get the impression that she really wants this book!), and she is one of my closest friends in the world.  When we were high school seniors I recall sitting poolside on a beautiful sunny day in Nairobi and laughing our heads off at some pretty strange humor we were sharing.  Kindred we were, and kindred we still are.  We called ourselves “soul sisters”.  Yes.  We were a little bit dorky, but that’s what makes our friendship so dear to me.  

 

Now, for the reason that I have come to realize that this give-away was not a flop.  Only one person’s name could be drawn anyway.  Only one person would receive a copy of the book from me, and that person would then be responsible for paying it forward.  Had nobody commented on the post, then it would have been a flop.  But by the very fact that someone commented, this book will make its way to Tammy, and she’ll pass it on to another girlfriend, and so on and so forth.  This is not a flop to me.  This was the soul purpose of the give-way.  Mission Accomplished.

 

Which brings me to my Friday’s Free Advice:  Pay It Forward. 

 

It could be anything: a cup of coffee, a compliment, a door opened, a note of encouragement.  We have all received unsolicited acts of kindness from a friend or stranger at some point.  (Quite possibly already once this morning.)  My advice?  Pay it forward.  Think of how touching it is to be the recipient of a random act of kindness.  It feels great.  So, why can’t we pass those good feelings on?  Not only is it sweet to receive, but even more so to extend a genuine act of thoughfulness. 

 

Little or small, it will bring you much more joy than the person you are blessing!  Trust me.  I can’t wait to get Tammy’s book shipped off to her.  In fact, I need to wrap this up quickly so that I can do just that!

 

Pay it forward, one random act of kindess at a time!

Posted in Fun Stuff | 5 Comments »

Pay It Forward – A Give-Away With A Twist!

Apr 12th, 2010 by Amy

Okay, let me preface this post with the fact that I am the most non-spontaneous person on the planet.  Not kidding here.  And what I have up my sleeve right now could quite possibly be divine inspiration or a HUMUNGOUS flop.  I guess we’ll find out…

This morning Joel and I were talking at the kitchen table, gulping down a pot of coffee because we were out late last night, and the three little people that we share this house with were up at an ungodly hour.  That said, we started talking about God and stuff God is doing in our lives, which instantly inspired me to start sharing all the beautiful nuggets of wisdom and encouragement I gleaned from the book, My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself (you can read my full review here).  I pulled my book out and started reading the underlined portions aloud (which was a lot because I practically underlined the whole thing).  We both laughed.  Good times.

As our conversation drew to a close, I sighed, “I wish I could buy a copy of this book for all my girlfriends.”

Not too long after, I came up with an idea.  What if I did a give-away on my blog – the prize being a copy of My Bangs Look Good… – with the stipulation that the winner has to pay it forward?  Meaning the lucky recipient of the book would then post their own My Bangs Look Good… give-away – via a blog or Facebook.  And the winner of that give-away must do the same thing, and so on and so forth.  Somehow, someway, keeping the goodness of this gift moving along like a wave of Tired Supergirls!

So…here’s how this give-away is going down:

  • Leave a comment on this blog sharing your most recent “oops” moment.
  • A winner will be randomly chosen on Thursday and announced Friday on my blog (only those living in the continental United States eligible).
  • The winner will be responsible for setting up their own give-away through a blog or Facebook (whichever medium works for them).

Let’s pay it forward…one book at a time!

Posted in Books, Fun Stuff | 3 Comments »

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